There’s two things I gotta tell y’all…

First…you take my breath away.
And second… I think

And uh..there’s one question I wanna ask, too…

Now why such entry title? Coz I dont understand why I have to feel this way when all I should do is be rational…forget the feeling…forget you.
But I can’t! Heck I can’t and the struggle is getting on my nerves!

Maybe I shouldn’t struggle. Whadduya think? Is it right to fight a feeling off when the world tells you that you don’t have any reason to fight for what you feel? But then you believe the feeling itself is reason enough to fight.

So what do you do? Do you battle? Or do you sulk in a corner…hide in the shadows and simply be judicious? Would you choose to be fantasy’s brave soldier? Or would you rather be reality’s reluctant slave?

I don’t know…it’s unfathomable. You tell me.

Just watched Ice Age 2: The Meltdown…wahaa! It was great fun!

Casanova’s next up…will surely watch this one. The production is fabulous as what the trailer shows. It’ll be like watching a Judith McNaught novel come to life. Can’t wait.

Here’s a glance…

“He was the world’s most notorious seducer. A swashbuckler, master of disguise and wit – it was said no woman could resist Casanova’s amorous charms. Until now.

For the first time in his life, the legendary Casanova (Heath Ledger) is about to meet his match with an alluring Venetian beauty, Francesca (Sienna Miller), who does the one thing he never thought possible: refuse him. Through a series of clever disguises and scheming ruses, he manages to get ever closer to Francesca. But he is playing the most dangerous game he has ever encountered – one that will risk not only his life and reputation, but his only chance at true passion.”

“You stand for everything I write against.” — Hmmm…with this line one could say that it’ll surely be tough for Francesca Bruni(Miller), Casanova’s match. I like the character she portrays in this film. She’s not the go-with-the-flow type of lady. She’s the headstrong type. The one who wouldn’t believe in something just because everyone else believes so.

With the film’s leading man..hmm..I dont know..I dont know what’s with Heath Ledger but I think he’s perfect for the role. He isn’t really that good-looking but he’s something…there’s this mystery in him that you’d wanna solve. Well, not that I know him in real life, of course! Wahahaha! I mean, I’m just looking at the surface here. There’s something in his eyes, too..hmm..ano yun? Muta? Bwahah! Nah…me just kiddin’ around! Don’t mind me. All I’m tryin to say is that I’ll watch the film…ahihi..un lng pala, ano? Ang dami pang side comments..loL! Hanggang sa susunod

Just as I’ve mentioned in a previous blog entry which spoke of my fondness of collecting books, I have bought books which I haven’t read before. Two reasons why I wasn’t able to do so was first, I didn’t have the time to read them and second, I just didn’t feel like reading them yet.

Now that it’s vacation time, I’ve trashed both of those reasons and opted to read one of the books I have in hand…Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. This novel, which happens to be a motion picture as well, is an autobiography by the infamous Chuck Barris, a TV host of the 70’s show The Gong Show.

Here…take a peek…

“Suspense, excess, danger and exuberant fun come together in Chuck Barris’s unlikely autobiography, the tale of a wildly flamboyant 1970’s television producer of innovative game shows such as “The Gong Show” and “The Dating Game”. What most people don’t know is that Barris spent close to two decades as a decorated covert assassin for the CIA, claiming to have killed over 30 people. He joined the CIA as an agent in the early 1960s. He infiltrated the Civil Rights movement, met with militant Muslims in Harlem and was sent abroad to to kill enemies of the American state, even as his game shows began to soar to ratings success.”

“I could not live the lie it would take, to have you here would be a mistake…”

——————————————————————-

Sometimes a lot of things in this universe just doesn’t make sense. I mean how could something be so wrong when it simply feels so right? The whole world tells you it’s wrong but deep down you know that it’s right. So which one ranks higher…a realistic world’s wrong judgment? Or a surreal cry of the heart that speaks nothing but the truth?

This is one reason why I don’t like being not busy with school or with any other stuff…because I get the chance to go idle and think about stuff which I wanna think about and forget about at the same time. Arrrgh! here comes the baffling me again.

I just don’t understand why I have to feel this. And why it has to be you that I feel this for. This isn’t really a first time. I mean, why does my heart always go knocking on the wrong doors, huh? [So now, ya know what I'm babbling about!]

I have tried to eradicate the feeling. But then when you do something you’re not really willing to do, achieving succès fou isn’t really as easy as pie. I tried hard…but not hard enough ’cause in the first place, I didn’t want the feeling to go.

I can’t fathom why all of these have to take place. And neither do I grasp the message being delivered to me.

Why do I smile instead of blush whenever I look into your eyes? Why do I feel so much like myself when I’m in front of you? Some things just aren’t comprehensible. I don’t know when all the questions will be answered. Only time could define this feeling. And so, time, I shall wait.

Now I can finally say that we’re done with school..we’re done with the second semester of our second year in college, that is.

Man, it wasn’t at all a bed of roses, our life this school year! The first semester felt as if all my 4 years were put into it. It was such a looooong semester. Though time was moving at its usual stride, the challenges that met us made it seem twice as lengthy. Hmm…Imagine having 4 major subjects(I’m talking ‘major’ in all aspects) pulled into a single sem. And the schedule wasn’t really that helpful, too. Oh well..past is past. And I’m grateful enough to God for helping me survive it. Plus, it wasn’t at all that bad, anyway. I mean all the lessons learned were priceless. It went beyond what one learns from within the four walls of the classroom.

The latter semester, on the other hand, wasn’t very pressuring. Or maybe I just say so because we were made to be used to the pressure during the earlier sem. Well, whatever. I’m just grateful we survived. And at the same time, I sort of can’t believe we’re turning 3rd year already. I mean, heck! I could still clearly remember the first days of my college life. The slightly awkward moments with my at-that-time-new classmates, the first meetings with our we-didn’t-know-what-to-expect instructors, the curiosity on what was up for us in the coming days…I could still remember them all. Can’t believe 4 semesters has passed since those commencing moments.

Now, a lot of things have changed. Bonds of friendship were formed and, to this point, are being sculpted by test of time. Realizations emerged. Feelings emerged, too. Some have moved on. A lot has decided to take on other quests. Responsibilities have grown. Whatever has been done it all reflected to staying the pace of the only constant thing…change.

At this point, we are given the chance to breathe…to take a break from the semester that seemed to take us ages to finish. It’s time to gather strength for the next chapterwe’re about to face in college life.

It’s been quite a day…and I don’t exactly know how to start this entry.

One thing’s for certain, though I will never ever forget my fellows in learning.

We have gone through so much already ever since the first day of classes in our freshmen days. And as the semesters went by we have gone through highs and lows…twists and turns of our life as college guys and gals.

Outings at every end of the semester. Sleepless nights during school days, petty or at some point, crucial fights between friends. ‘Love teams’ were formed(LoL!). Mortal enemies emerged. Just a term used(mortal enemies)..I dont really mean it as it is..I mean these people arent really enemies, they just like bugging each other to annoyance. And we all enjoy watching ‘em irritate each other..lol!

But then bonds are always tested. It’s shouldn’t be all joviality. There has to be some sort or shaking moments too. That way, we could learn to weigh things, realize mistakes, and eventually take the next step in the stairs of friendship.

Today, for not the first time, we encountered a turning point in our relationship as classmates, as a team…as friends. We just came to a certain point wherein we somehow neglected to do certain things. Small things which later on would have a great impact on our life as IT students, and eventually as career people. Think of it as forgetting the teeny tiny details that we ought to keep in mind.

The incident had something to do with time…and some of us forgetting how precious it is.

This negligence caused some of us to lose patience and be infuriated. Some of us felt that something has to be done. Some just felt that the fire has to be extinguished before it finishes the whole place. We had the extinguisher in hand, the only thing we had to do was use it. And so it was used. A good move. Now all that we have to do is renovated the burned area so the place would be good as new.

The renovation part would have to take place in each of us. The choice of changing for the better would come from the person. After the extinguishing of fire, it is up to the individual, if he chooses to fix up the damaged area or not. I just hope we all do not choose the latter. I feel positive anyway that we won’t. For after the ‘extinguishing’, a response came in order…an encouraging one.

Oh well…that ends this blog entry. I still am busy with the project but I just thought I couldn’t let the day pass without being able to blog about what happened today and without thanking God for the lesson learned. For the friendship strengthened. And for the challenge of change imparted. I pray for the bond of friendship to get even stronger.

G’nyt everyone!

[pix were taken earlier...after the 'extinguishing' happened...hehe!]

Ahhhhhhhh…

We’re trying to get together all the stuff we learned in Assembly Language so we could create a notepad…(the mere thought of it drives me nuts)…

Have you guys got a miracle? Coz I could use some…Poof! Gotta go…am surely gonna be in coding mode for hours after this blog entry…

Bye! Wish us luck…a helluva lotta luck b-(

p.s. When all of these stuff finish up…it’ll be this mode for me (and surely for the rest of my classmates, as well)

To a place like this, I wanna go..wahaaa! can’t wait to get into vacation mode again! Still thinking of place for our unwinding right now.

I just love this song! I’ve also heard the revival by Jinky Vidal and it sounds great, too. It’s the soul of the song that carries me away…takes me to paradise…

If I Believe

Patti Austin

If I believed in paradise
I’d swear I must be there
I’d swear I must be there right now with you
If I believed in miracles
I’d know that one was happening to me
But if I don’t believe in paradise
Then miracles aren’t real
Then someone tell me what is this I feel

I wanna believe it’s love this time
I wanna believe my heart’s not telling me a lie
But with you I can’t deny
if I believed in paradise
I’d swear I’m there

If I believed in magic spells
It all would be so clear
‘Cause magic spells must have brought you here
If I could see the future
I’d see if you and I were meant to be
But I dont know any magic
And tomorrow’s just a dream
But something in this fantasy is real

I wanna believe it’s love this time
I wanna believe my heart’s not telling me a lie
I wanna believe it’s love this time
I wanna believe my heart’s not telling me a lie
But with you I cant deny
If I believed in paradise
I’d swear I’m there

I’m there
I’m there
If I believed.

Yesterday, I went to Nat’l Bookstore intending to buy envelopes for my nephew’s baptism invitations. It was almost 7 in the evening and I told(and almost promised) myself to hurry cause I still had a lotta stuff to do.

But..as I entered the bookstore, I was alluringly greeted by books which apparently caused me to break my self vow of not delving into items in the store(just as I usually do) so I wont be delayed. I’m very fond of skimming through stuff at Nat’l Bookstore(wanna have a mini lib someday..not that I’m a bookworm, though. I mean I only read when I feel like doin so. But I do like having a lotta books around. I own a few which I haven’t read yet. Di pa nko feel basahun.LoL!). Anyway..where were we..ahh…stuff at NBS..yeah I could spend almost an hour just going through them..and at most times, I don’t really buy them. (Mahal mn gud..pero lami jud kau paliton!).And so there I was…captivated with what greeted me..and I gave in to the temptation of having a look at them.

The books I found were Paolo Coelho’s The Alchemist(I really wanna read this), Eleven Minutes, and the one I’m most intrigued of…Veronika Decides to Die. Other stuff that caught my eye were two of the many retaliations to Dan Brown’s bestseller the Da Vinci Code. These were namely Cracking the Da Vinci Code and Beyond the Da Vinci Code.

On top of that, I also saw this interesting book entitled The Heart of the Chronicles of Narnia. It’s mainly about the deeper meaning of The Chronicles of Narnia books. The subtitle says Knowing God Here by Finding Him There, which I think is really worthy of note. I mean, after all, there’s something much more profound in what I have thought to be just a fantasy movie. Well, not just any fantasy movie, though…for it touched me intensely.

Hmm…what now…you think my skimming-through-the-synopses stops there? Nah-uh…no it doesn’t. I also went through some of Phillip Yancey’s stuff. Sir Denz told me enthralling stuff about some of his works so I thought of checking them out as well. I saw What’s So Amazing About Grace and In His Image(which was said to be a sequel of Fearfully and Wonderfully Made). These books were unexpectedly the least pricey of all that I’ve flicked through.

There’s quite a lot of ‘em, huh? And they all noteworthily deserve to be read, as well. Big problem is, wala sa budget(da one and only problem, actually)..LoL!

So now, you know why it’s so much, so little… coz there’s so much to spend for, yet so little to spend from. Well, what else have I gotta do but save, save and save. Summer na baya, wala nay allowance..toinx! Hihihi! Gotta find another way. Bye for now.

p.s.
yawyaw…
I’ve been in the dont-touch-me mode since the moment I sat on this comp chair. “Stoooooooop bugginggg meeeeee!”..I’ve been meaning to say to some people. But then patience, my love is a virtue..and one that I intend to keep…so sri nlng ko magyawyaw…kay samooooooooooooooook naaaaaa!
*sayin it out loud* “Arrrrrgh!” *SIOL* Whew..tingla si Mama, MAMA:Naunsa ka?…MEeace, Ma…I’m cool!…LoL!

Ay, daaah…hala cge nauy, sound trip sa ko pra marelax. Vuhvye! (now you see why I call this blog a “rant pit”!Haha!)

Today, I gurantee you…you won’t get anything sensible from me(Whatta gurantee!)! All you’ll be getting from this dried up brain of mine are random shouts emerging from an unlikeably wretched-and-at-the-same-time-happy blood-pumping organ you all call a heart. Whew! I didn’t quite get that. These thoughts would surely let you create a puzzle that’s impossible to solve..at least for the moment, it is. Help me solve them if you wish to.

So here they go, the most random of thoughts I’ve ever had…

What is it with you?

I’m inevitably running out of reasons to fight for what I feel…

I am but destiny’s victim…

You and I are a living testimony that life is unfair!(Or at least I think so…LoL! Not that there’s ever a “you and i”, really…but if there was, then it we would really be a living testi that blah blah and blah…)

You make me grin like my mouth would rip to the sides!

I don’t understand what He’s trying to tell me..but one day I will…

I just don’t see why it had to be you!

But at least there were chances…

Is there something more deeper than love?

It just isn’t my cup of tea…I’m not the go-get-him type..never could imagine myself as one..

So I don’t care what I feel…it would never come from me.

I feel like time’s running out..and like I’ve said, I’m running out of reasons to keep on letting this feeling flow…

Life is an array of questions, really. Questions that would take you either a second…or an entire year(even more) to answer.

And the next question is…what would it be?

One things, for sure, I wouldn’t shoo the feeling away..but if it does choose to go away then I wouldn’t stop it from leaving, either.

I just hope it wouldn’t be too late…

-end-

Man, that was relieving…sometimes, if i write like that I feel like a needle has just been plucked out from me. I don’t know why but it makes me feel like that. It’s as if the puzzlement that the writing creates helps soothe the aching heart. Duh! Ok, ok…but don’t say I didn’t warn you! Like I said, you wouldn’t get anything sensible from me today..heheh! So I’ll stop here now…before I get even more pointless..Hehe! Ciao! Have a senseless night…*oops* ) *zippin my mouth* )